Saturday, June 7, 2008


Thinking back it seems like everything we have is pretty easy to take for granted. Please see below blog where I declare my open availability for anything this summer. Most people are out there right now working their bootys off to make money and live their lives. But most of them are "living to work" because of the economy right now, gas prices (holy F), and cost of living in the haven that is SoCal.

I am not. I am sitting here, in my house, when the sun shines outside my patio door, and still I can't help but feel a little down. As it turns out I had a different view of what my life would have been like when I reached 26. As an idealistic 19yr old sophomore at UNLV I thought for sure that I would be married by 26, living a successful life in CAL and loving it (accomplished part of that goal), have a house and a dog (at that point I didn't think children would be in my future). Let's run through that list as we look at my current life. Yes. I am 26. No I am not married. Yes I am living in CAL, liking it, but not loving it. No house and no dog. And no real job. And since I stopped going to the gym when I started grad school I have also become soft in the middle which isnt the end of the world, but also isn't where I want to be right now.

Part of me looks back on goals I set, accomplishments of those goals, and realizations that those were not the goals that would carry my into a happy long life. Since I love lists, lets make one.

It was a goal of mine to get away from home and move all over. Check (alaska, nevada, arizona, new york, CAL)

It was a goal of mine to go to college to be a Marine Biologist. Check (the math is over my head so plans changed)

It was a goal of mine to overcome a health issue that plagued my life for many years. Check, and proud of that check although the struggle is still daily.

It was a goal of mine to Move to CAL and work in the surf industry. Check and Check. Moved to CAL after school and worked at Rusty and O'neill.

It was a goal of mine to find the man of my dreams, marry him, get a house and a dog. Let's see. Check, no check, no check and no check. I found the man of my dreams, but have been patient and given him the time to be ready to ask the question I have been dying to be asked for a while now ;)

Who knew that life could make so many different twists and turns. Who knew that I would love working with kindergarteners so much. I mean with all of the love they ooze through their tiny little poors it isnt hard, but patience is a virtue and apparently I had some hidden deep inside of me.

Anyway, the point of this whole blog is that I have a lot to be thankful for but for some reason I find myself in a bit of a slump. I am looking for a way out of it and perhaps it is just a day to day journey. I have to find the inner smile what I know I possess. We do fun things all of the time and while I try and be happy, smile, and enjoy myself, I find that I have a hard time with this. So we will see what the summer brings. My life has always been better when I am busy and doing something. So hopefully there will be something really amazing to be planning for this summer.

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